"I believe in the love of God, it is an orphan's wildest dream, it is a Narrow Little Road, it is an ever widening desert stream" ~ Red Mountain hymn

"This narrow little road may be filled with both abundant joy and humiliating sorrow; surely, even its promised Divine acceptance cannot assure it's travelers absense of profound rejection. Indeed, this narrow road may be filled with a great many things, but the one thing it truly lacks is regret!" ~Debbie Sue

Monday, February 21, 2011

FLASH: an honest moment

Written on 2/3/2011

In an honest moment, I will tell you that I love being a full-time missionary.

Most of you will hear this statement and assume that I mean living overseas in a warm climate and having others pay for me to be serving God full-time in a country that is not my home. The truth is... if you are a Christian, we are all called to missional living; to be lovers of Jesus who reflect who He is in all the areas of our lives, including where we work. For me, I'm on mission to love the souls that dwell in my house as well as the neighbors and individuals in my communities connected to my church and Samaritan's Purse.

Though I do believe this thought to be true, I also stand by the truth from Scripture that there is difference between missionaries and those who are living missionally. 1 Thess 5 talks about respecting and honoring those who labor and lead among us (those on the front lines serving God) in a special way- to esteem them highly. Yes, to those of us who are working hard in the marketplace and are truly serving God wholeheartedly, I honestly commend you. However, I simply must look at my life with a different esteem when I consider those believers who have given up everything to follow Christ; those who are being burned, bruised, beaten and even put to death for the sake of the Gospel.

In an honest moment, sometimes I don't feel like NGO work is what God has designed me for. I went out to another orphanage the other day, and for the first time, I felt a strong understanding that starting an orphanage as a kid was the only version I could think of to express the vision I was
feeling in my heart, but I don't sense in my spirit a calling to that kind of work after being deeply connected to it here. I don't know what it's going to look like and please pray with me, but I believe deeply that God is calling me to use writing, teaching and the arts in Africa in a profound way and I don't know which step to take forward from here.

Right now, I'm getting involved with a drama team through my church and am preparing to teach classes on script writing and the basics in drama production. Acting is not a problem for them (they are amazing), but the technical pieces is what they don't know- its the same with rythm and music for many of them. Natural talent but small training. I believe so strongly that this culture has so much to express, so much light inside them dying to come out, and so much healing that I believe God could do through discipleship of leaders, and sustainable art outlets. I don't know what all of this means but I guess I just processed it all out loud with you ;)

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